Mason Jar Music Presents

White Owl video

Hey girl, let's go down, wash our hands in the Carolina tide...

Here is a little window into my vacation at the Outer Banks with the Randy Rockrohr's 2011. What a big fat blessing! Especially since it ended pre-Irene and we returned to D.C. just post-Earthquake. 

Home is where you hang your hat. In our case, that was at the local KOA. In my case, specifically, it was the TBlakes trusty Sierra by Design. Thanks guys! We were constantly chuckling to ourselves that all the other sites had massive campers, pop-up trailers, and party buses with spinning rims and we had a minivan and a u-haul. Staying classy.

Did you hear about the new Blackbeard film that's coming out? It's rated arrr!

We took the ferry to Ocracoke island....for $FREE.99! Car and all!

It looked a little something like this.

Let's just say Rosko didn't stay dry for long. There was a lot of unanticipated dog fishing that went on.

We survived my first attempt at kayaking. Note the kayak high five. A little blurry, but you get the idea.

I sort of liked it on the island.

Special island horses of Spanish decent with one less vertebrae than a typical horse. 

This sign was seen on the side of a bait and tackle shop. The fisherman and the bird people don't necessarily get along.

On the deck of a seafood joint near our campsite, back on the banks, facing the sound.

Late night beach side campfire.

It  may be hard to tell in this pic, but this particular marshmellow was unstoppable.

On our last morning of camping we actually got up for the sunrise...

...but it's never too early for throwing it up!

maria tries her hand at some photog + we love each other.

If you've never been to East Asia, this is what it means to pose for a pic Asian-style. 

If I had an fb, this would most certainly be my new profile pic. 

I told Aunt Gee that she was being literally Christ-like. I actually don't know how I will be a clean person when I'm not around her anymore. She is the most hygienic lady I know, which also left me very impressed at her camping abilities.

And that's just scratching the surface. mm mm good. I spent some great times with the Lord on top of all the fun, and for all you JMM fans, I'm coming back like a baby.

Flowers feel like flowers.

I am still washing off the residue of Gnosticism that coats my worldview. Sometimes I find myself subconsciously delegitimizing or trying to separate myself from my emotions. For instance: There is a particular thing that I desire to do or to have that I know will require patience. I still feel the desire, yet on the other hand I want to submit to what He has for me because that's obviously best, even if I disagree in the moment.

I'm linking this to Gnosticism because of its emphasis on spirit v. matter, in which spirit is valued above the physical/material realm, the realm where we walk and talk and feel happy and sad and everything else. I'm linking feelings to the physical/material realm because they are an innate part of "humanness." With Gnostic thought, divine knowledge is exalted above the human physical experience and the goal is essentially to transcend the real world. This kind of thinking is still lurking in the church world, especially in charasmania where the end goal tends to be a transcendent, mystical experience.This has great value, but if the importance and value of day-to-day life and general humanness is de-emphasized then it's problematic.

I keep feeling the Lord point out that I am, in fact, a human being (believe it or not) and that He made human beings to feel and experience. He wants me to be in those feeling places with Him, to include him in the process, to invite Him into my heart and what I'm experiencing there. He does not expect me not to have emotional reactions nor should I deny them or experience them alone. Sometimes in Christian world we infer that we are expected to be bulletproof, unaffected by anything, which is not realistic.

Simple enough, yeah? So here is a story.

There was a job I had been pursuing for which I already had one interview. After playing phone tag with a guy from their HR dept. I was informed that I was not going to be invited back for another interview. Now, I knew that this was the Lord's sovereignty, that the door was closed on purpose. Plus, it was a position at a large company, which isn't my cup of tea. I had an ends-justify-the-mean mentality in going for the job, thinking that the ends of paying off school loans and the resulting freedom would justify the means of working for a corporation. But still.

Despite recognizing this was how it was meant to be, I still felt sad. Thoughts such as, "What did I do wrong?" and "What's wrong with me?" "Why do they hate me?" and "I'm a disgrace to the family name" murmured back stage. I told the Lord that although I accepted this outcome and trusted it was for the best, I still felt this way. I felt permission to feel what I needed to feel for a little while.

Jessica Youmans texted me to ask about the job. I told her that I didn't get it and was trusting it was the right thing, yet I tagged "but, rejection doesn't feel like flowers."

Later that night, I arrived at our small group and Jessica pointed at a vase of beautiful, freshly cut blossoms of white and green and said, "those are for you."

"What for?" I inquired.

Without skipping a beat, she said, "Because rejection doesn't feel like flowers."

Flowers feel like flowers!

Upon later reflection, not only was I touched by her kind gesture of encouragement and thoughtfulness (she picked the perfect ones! Sorry, no picture), but also I saw how the Lord really moved through her to confirm what He had been teaching me. Yes, we accept what falls from His hand. But also, we get to have the space to experience whatever that is, honestly and genuinely with Him. Disappointment, rejection, shame, guilt, anxiety, happiness, desire, passion-- He wants it all. Isn't He great to give us challenges that sharpen us, and then also surround us with people through whom He moves to comfort us and to share it with along the way?

Thank you Jessica. Thank you Jesus. Flowers feel gooooood.

Kite Party 2011

I am spoiled. Hopefully not rotten.

Some brave souls came out to celebrate with me on the hottest day of the year. My smile was so big I couldn't feel the heat.

Cass and my mom put on a whimsical and wonderful kite party for me for my bday. Maasen was kind enough to take some pics for me, the camera-less. What a blessing!

the spread

my mother's handiwork, of course. the veggies are carved into flowers, and if you can see it, i have a bday message spelled out in cheese-its.

needed more wind..but please note that big cass MADE me that kite. wawaweewa, where does all the creative energy come from?!

i am loved.

ang trys her hand at flying

my youngest brother and his friends had recently invented a new frisbee game that proved to be a hit. we spent much of the evening on this due to the lack of wind.

team rockrohrrrrrrr + sam = total domination. or, at least in the first game.

he tried so hard!

quit gabbing and play, boys.

muh girls

she made that sign. another example of her superior making skills.

cass surprised me with one of the precious figs from her tree, a truly sacrificial gift. mmm....

Father of Lights, you continue to delight me with the good and perfect gifts you shower down from above. I open my arms to you and lift up my face to feel your radiance. Thank you for my family and community and the way you overwhelm my heart through them. May we all enter into the new season of fullness, movement, joy and love as you break forth into our little world. You are blessed above every other name, and I am humbled that you would look down on me with such favor to give me all of this. Thank you for another year to live, move and have my being in You.

I love you, my friends, those who could be there and those who were there in spirit. If all I had was all of this....dayenu!

our prayer in august air

father of lights

you do not change like shifting shadows

your nearness is the august air

our skin responds in sweat

you stifle us with your heavy nearness

rain rain rain rain

our arms are wide open

our faces looking up

all these good and perfect gifts

are showers from heavenly places

you are the giver of seasons

each one purposed for its own beautiful time

we know nothing of what you have done

beginning to end

we have no idea

who are you?

who are you?

where do you live?

we make our home in you

we look for you, the unseen

we live and move and have our being

in you, the infinite

that which you have set in our hearts

we have not understood

but you stay here close like humid august air