Question for Discussion:

G-d is Father to the Fatherless...what of the motherless? If G-d is not man (though chooses to reveal Himself as Father, King and Bridegroom), what is the proper way to look to the mothering, nurturing characteristics of G-d? Those who have had improper fathering look to the L-rd for inner healing in the area of fathering...what is the proper way for those who need inner healing because of poor or absent mothering?

The Painted Peter

Will you turn back my praise if I falter again?
Spoken words flow less freely than ink in a pen.

If I don't raise my voice then will you stand ashamed,
would that you never had called me by name?

If preaching in cities is putting out fires,
the smoldering mess melts into the mire.

This painted Peter sinks into the sea
and my heavy faith sinks low inside me.

And then surely washes up onto the shore
Breakfast of fish, thrice softly implore

Hungry sheep to feed.

Keith Green

I didn't realize there was already a song titled "Your Love Broke Through," the same title as the poem I posted a while ago. It's a Keith Green song. It's not my favorite song of his , but it's worth noting that I sort of plagiarized



My dad used to play Keith Green in the car when he drove us, my brothers and I, to school in the mornings. In my late elementary and high school years I was embarrassed of the kinds of music my dad played in his car (80's-90's CCM) and would turn down his stereo when we pulled up to the school. My brothers and I loved to make fun of Keith Green and his dramatic singing (and hair). But, the other day, my brothers and I were dancing around at my folks' house and ended up putting on some Keith Green (I have no idea how or why that happened). We were getting nostalgic about the days of the ride to school with dad listening to Keith Green. And I was struck by the intensity of his love and passion for the L-rd that comes through in his songs. He sings from a heart that has been forgiven much and therefore loves much. Truly inspired. My heart is moved by his music.

Oh, and not surprisingly, yet I was surprised to find out that Keith and his wife were Messianic Jews! Same old story of a guy who was Jewish and ended up getting into drugs, east Asian mysticism and free love and came to know Jesus in the 70's. He seems to have identified as a Christian.

So yes, I love Keith Green. His piano playing reminds me of Ben Folds and I'm a big fan of piano rock. I love his white man fro, his simple and catchy melodies, his extremely overt and simple lyrics, his sing-songy way of performing, and his essence.What's not to love?

waiting

winter's sullen smile
casts frowns upon my brow
winter's waiting calms me
into dreams of windows open

winter's sheets are thin and sharp
they caress like needles

winter comes without a warning
following our special days
of cups of lemonade
and oils of gladness
it makes us hide inside
beneath our paper blankets
where we write our dreams away

we listen closely to the sound
of clacking shoes on hardwood
floors of sanctuaries and courthouses
and places where women walk
when they are not relaxed

we breathe in peace when we see
the wind blow fondly from the south
and feel our insides of dust
and ribs from which we were made

we taste our hunger
and open our mouths
like new hatchlings
blind and waiting

waiting waiting
waiting waiting

for something to arrive

Brother Yun Pt. 2 (It's a Miracle!)

Today I was shoveling the snow in the at my grandparents house. This is the first year that it has been my job to do the shoveling because the person who usually does it had surgery. I was excited for the challenge, though, and my grandparents very graciously asked me to do it.

I only had thin gloves on and about 1/3 of the way through the job my fingers were so cold they were hurting pretty bad. I started to grumble on the inside and feel sorry for myself, finding reasons to justify my inward complaints (my fingers hurt really bad, I don't have good enough gloves, my brothers should've volunteered to do this ((yes, very un-feminist of me)), why does G-d make winter so cold, etc.).

I was reminded of Brother Yun and all that he endured without complaining, constantly singing praises to the L-rd throughout all his circumstances. The one time he complained to G-d (which was actually a night that he had to spend out in the cold) he immediately repented of his complaint. Thinking about  this, I felt convicted about my bad attitude in circumstances that paled in comparison to Brother Yun's experiences, ones that He endured with praise in his heart. I began to sing worship songs as I shoveled the snow.

To my surprise, as I was singing I noticed that my fingers were literally beginning to warm! Seriously. I was so blown away by this! I was filled with joy and continued to worship as I shoveled the snow. My fingers remained warm for the rest of the job as did my joy remain as well.

Thank you L-rd for doing a little miracle that brought the lesson home. It was a good reminder of the "prison to praise" message. Please help me remember this in the future when my challenge isn't as simple as shoveling snow.

Philippians 2:14
"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" 

 P.S.- The more I journey into the L-rd, the cheesier and more cliche I talk. I have always hated "Christianese"....yet there are concepts and experiences I talk about now for which I know only one "nomenclature." It's natural for me to talk about my walk in a churchy way because I learned it from a young age, but I don't like it. Thoughts? Suggestions?... Threats? Bribes?

Brother Yun

I am getting wrecked by the testimony of Brother Yun's life in The Heavenly Man.

"We are absolutely nothing. We have nothing to be proud about. We have no abilities and nothing to offer God. The fact that he chooses to use us is only due to His grace. It has nothing to do with us. If God should choose to raise up others for his purpose and never use us again we would have nothing to complain about."
-Brother Yun to his wife, Deling

His words and his story so far so convict me of my own sin of fear and pride.I have not followed in the footsteps of Christ's suffering. I have suffered because of the consequences of my own sin. Father, make me worthy to be your witness like Brother Yun.

Your Love Broke Through

Your love broke through
at desperate hour
when cry was wrenched and wrung
from soaking, drowning soul

Your love broke through
like shattered glass once covered
in condensed fog
steam that veiled your face

Your love cut through
blood that flowed from pierced and holy flesh
cuts past the calluses
cuts off our sinning hands and eyes
and ingrown foreign objects
healing comes through pain 
the ripping at the birth
the cut that saves out souls

True Judge, Righteous G-d Man, Ruach HaKodesh
Your love broke through
a bloody mess
reborn from death