Friday, July 23, 2010

Passing Afternoon

"Passing Afternoon" by Iron and Wine

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings
Sunday pulls its children from their piles of fallen leaves

There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass
Springtime calls her children 'till she lets them go at last
And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds

There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all
Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls
But my hands remember hers, rolling 'round the shaded ferns
Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned

There are names across the sea, only now I do believe
Sometimes, with the windows closed, she'll sit and think of me
But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know
Her baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone

*better when you listen while reading


Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Number One Country in Threatening World Peace

"Jews is news. Whatever a Jew or better yet the Jewish State, Israel, does, it always grabs the headlines. The double standard to which the world holds Israel is nothing short of supernatural. The fact that two-thirds of all UN resolutions passed since 1990 have condemned Israel is classic illustration of this point. No one seems to care that Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East, is surrounded by twenty-two non-democratic, totalitarian Arab states with little or no human rights or free speech. Syria occupies Lebanon for decades, but the world ignores it. Pol Pot kills 1.5 million Cambodians in the 1970's yet the UN never passed one resolution condemning him, yet when Israel starts building a fence to keep out suicide bombers the world goes mad. A 2003 European Union survey listed Israel as the number one country in the world threatening world peace beating out such peaceloving nations as North Korea, Iran, Syria and Libya."

-The Washington Post columnist, Charles Krauthammer

Sunday, June 6, 2010

my kaddish is broken

holy, holy, holy, L-rd G-d Almighty,
early in the morning,

too early
doubled over, clenching

her dirge
shall rise to Thee

“my sons..

holy, holy, holy, merciful

“…have mercy on us”

and mighty

how can

G-d in three Persons,

be

blessed Trinity?


holy, holy, holy
the darkness hide Thee
the eye of sinful man thy glory

cannot see

Only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee,

there is none
there is none
there is nothing


perfect in power
there are no words

in love,

wrenching

and purity

a handful of dirt in a hole in the ground

holy, holy, holy…
L-rd G-d Almighty?
all Thy works shall praise Thy Name, in earth, and sky, and sea

where you left us

holy, holy, holy; merciful

man of sorrows

and mighty

true judge

G-d

as in His high heavens
peace
for us
and all Israel

how can we

say amen?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Mark Twain- "Concerning the Jews"

"If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one per cent. of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star-dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of; but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.

He has made a marvelous fight in this world, in all the ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him. He could be vain of himself, and be excused for it. The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished.

The Jew saw them all, beat them all, and is now what he always was, exhibiting no decadence, no infirmities of age, no weakening of his parts, no slowing of his energies, no dulling of his alert and aggressive mind. All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?"

full text: http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1898twain-jews.html

the grand canyon and my not-so-grand budget



thanks, cassie, for the recommendation. now, i need a recommendation of how to obtain an extra $87...and a way to not look like a mutant.

speaking of cash/money, I was very recently invited to take a road trip with two of my good high school class friends down to the grand canyon and do some camping/hiking. I've been crunching numbers to see if there's any way I can make it work. If I can pick up some extra shifts, perhaps. Or I may tap into my "emergency fund," seeing how I may or may not ever have a chance like this again. The trip will be relatively cheap, but I'd basically miss a pay period and would have to buy a backpack.

I just need to postpone responsibility for a while.

P.S. Did you know you can feed the fish? :)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

naked feet

So I heard an article on NPR regarding barefoot running staring a scholarly dude who studied a tribal group of people who were characterized as skilled (barefoot) runners. He was a big advocate, passionately asserting that continuous use of running shoes by runners ends up causing chronic stress injuries in the feet and legs. He argues that the human body is designed to absorb the shock and that the stride of running barefoot which causes one to land on the midfoot and ball of the foot is much better than impact on the heel that running shoes cause.

I say all this to say that after reading a bit more and having my interest piqued, and also after a strong desire to get back in shape after a long, sedentary semester doing schoolwork, I am going to slowly try this practice. I gave it a little try today, not far at all- less than a quarter mile probably. It felt weird but didn't cause any pain. I'm going to try to slowly keep adding more time barefoot until my body adapts to this new style of running.

updates to follow. skinny jeans and happy feet, here I come!

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Bhutanese








For those of you who might be interested, I completed my research on the Bhutanese refugee community in KCK. Below you will find my paper (read: intro and last paragraph will give the basic idea) along with some demographic mapping of the neighborhood. Hopefully it's readable. I really wanted to upload some sounds bites from my interviews so people could hear their lovely little accents, but not can do, I guess. Does anyone know how I could do that?


































The Dynamics of Displacement: The Bhutanese Refugee Community in Kansas City, Kansas

The position of a refugee is a complicated one with varied perspectives of how they should be treated. Although the position of the refugee is of international concern, one does not have to look far from the local scene to come in contact with these displaced people. The purpose of this research was to examine the situation of the Bhutanese refugees living in Kansas City, Kansas and to understand their role in the dynamics of the ethnically diverse neighborhood in which they live.
I was referred to a friend of a friend who works for an organization called “Mission Adelante.” This organization is based in Kansas City, Kansas and works primarily with the numerous Hispanic immigrants in the area, offering various forms of community support such as language classes and children's programs. Mission Adelante launched a refugee support branch about two years ago lead by David Steler, the person with whom I worked to arrange most of my research. The initial referral to David Stetler was what provoked my interest in researching the Bhutanese refugee community because of the connections that were available. Because of the basis of my decision to research this community, my specific research purpose was open-ended until further information was gathered.

My first meeting with David Stetler proved enlightening and evocative. I was introduced to a community of displaced individuals who found themselves in the middle of a foreign country that and a city that, for the majority of the group, was arbitrarily chosen by someone else,. These Bhutanese refugees originally descended from a group of Bhutanese who immigrated to Nepal about 200 years ago. Conflict came when the Bhutanese living there began to form a political party and interact with the Nepali people in a way that the Bhutanese government did not approve. This eventually led to the group of about 100,000 who were living there to be required to leave. They were not citizens of Bhutan nor would Bhutan recognize them and accept them back. Because of this, they were trapped between two nations with nowhere to go but refugee camps between the two countries. These people lived in these camps for about 20 years until outside governments stepped in and allowed them to be resettled in other locations. The United States agreed to receive 60,000 Bhutanese refugees to be resettled all over the United States. There are about 600-700 Bhutanese living in the Kansas City metro area in two different locations, one of which is the community on which I researched, in Kansas City, Kansas.

In talking to David Stetler, I was given some information in light of the focus of this project, spatial segregation. He described that the Bhutanese had been settled in the area because of the resources that were available to them such as the Don Bosco Center, a social service agency; Catholic Charties, the non-government agency the federal government works with to place refugees on the Kansas side of the Kansas City metro; and David's agency, Mission Adelante, a non-profit religious social service agency. An interesting aspect of information to note about this community is that it is primarily composed of Spanish-speaking people, namely Hispanic immigrants. In addition to this, over time there has been a “crowding out” phenomenon as the Hispanic community has pushed out the surrounding African-American community.

After a preliminary realization of this information, I was interested in finding out the dynamics and tensions, if any, of a very diverse area. The purpose of this research became focused on the experiences of the Bhutanese refugees in Kansas City in light of already existing theoretical framework and other scholarly perspectives on refugees. I was also interested in gathering information about the dynamics between the various demographics that make up this KCK neighborhood.

The majority of the data for this research was conducted through in-depth interview, starting with David Stetler and leading to individual interviews with six Bhutanese refugees. In addition to this, the program SimplyMap was used in order to gather demographic information about the neighborhood.

A useful article for understanding the various perspectives toward refugees in the United States is Jeremy Hein's piece “Refugees, Immigrants, and the State.” As shown in the article, the United Nations defines a “refugee” as a person who “owing to a well founded fear of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his nationality and is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself with that country.” This definition applies to the KCK community of Bhutanese refugees because they were members of a particular nationality and social group that were forced to be outside the country that had been their home for 200 years.(Hein 44)

Hain discusses two contrasting perspectives toward refugees, one view refugees as exiles displaced from their place or origin, and the other viewing the term “refugee” as a social construct, seeing refugees in essentially the same light as immigrants. He explains that the push-pull theory of international migration comes from a realist perspective in that it makes a distinction between immigrants and refugees. This difference can be found in the difference between planned and chosen migration and a spontaneous and obligatory move. Hain explains that internal migration is common among both refugees and immigrants before international migration. He also states that refugees use kin and friendship networks to aid their entrance into new society in the same manner as immigrants. The realist perspective and the some of the aforementioned aspects he draws attention to seem to be true of the Bhutanese refugees. The Bhutanese experienced internal migration as they had to migrate to refugee camps long before the resettlement process began. In regard to the statement about kinship ties, my research indicated that they were not the same as immigrants, especially when in comes to the immigrant pattern of “chain migration,” or cumulative causation. “Chain migration” is the pattern where immigrants attract family and friends from their country or origin, thus creating chains of people who continue to immigrate and the network keeps expanding. (Massey 42) Refugees have limited choice about their destination. Although the government of a refugee-receiving country might choose to send refugees to a community where there are resources, including social capital, for this group, the United States' government often chooses to distribute refugees spatially throughout the U.S. Refugees are unable to receive government financial assistance if they choose a different geographic location. (Hein 49)

In Peter Marcuse’s piece, The Enclave, the Citadel, and the Ghetto: What Has Changed in the Post-Fordist U.S. City,” he discusses various types of spatial segregation. My research indicated that two of these three types are visible in this particular neighborhood. The immediate are where the Bhutanese could be considered an enclave, although not a Bhutanese enclave but a Hispanic immigrant enclave. This type of segregation he describes as being an area where people sharing ethnic or religious background congregated in order to improve their economic, social, political or cultural development. The second type that can be observed is the ghetto, which he describes as a spatially segregated area which can be seen as subject and inferior to those outside the area. In this case, the aforementioned enclave is surrounded by what could be considered a black ghetto, especially directly to the north of the Hispanic enclave.

The specific boundaries of the area I studied in Kansas City, Kansas are as follows: a central point was 18th street and Central with the boundaries from 29th to 7th street east to west and Minnesota to 70 Highway north to south. I was able to do demographic mapping with SimplyMap, which was helpful in understanding the ethnic make-up of the neighborhood. In the appendix section are maps that show the Hispanic, Black, and White make-up of the area I studied. It was evident from the maps that the “crowding out” phenomonon was actual in reality, as it was easy to see that where the Hispanic population was most dense, the black population was most sparse and vice-versa. For instance, at a central point in the neighborhood at 18th and Central, the maps showed the area to be 8-15% black and 45-60% Hispanic.

When I addressed ethnic tension in my refugee interviews, my main finding was that the interviewees had neutral attitudes toward the Hispanic community. Most said that they had little interaction with their Spanish-speaking neighbors because of the language barrier. A few mentioned that they could be confused to be Mexican because of their physical similarities and that their neighbors were often surprised to find out that they did not, in fact, speak Spanish. I was interested in finding out what language was most important for them to know, English or Spanish, since Spanish was so widely spoken in the community. Unanimously, the response was English, as all the social service agencies that work with the refugees are English-speaking agencies. Some interviewees as well as David Stetler mentioned that they would have more job opportunities within the community if they could speak Spanish, though, instead of having to venture out geographically. One interviewee mentioned that some of the others had trouble because of tension between the Hispanic community and black community, saying that there were times where they would be cut off in traffic or be in danger of being robbed at night because they were confused by black people to be Mexicans. The reason for the perceived animosity between the Hispanics and blacks is unknown to me at this point; it was not something for which I probed in my interview questions.

There were many questions asked of the Bhutanese that applied to the areas of occupation, living conditions, age, size of family, and more. The answers were in-depth and comprehensive, allowing for a highly valid understanding of the refugee experience. Most of the questions elicited the same responses which enhances the credibility of the results. Most respondents did not choose to move to Kansas City. All said they liked living in the neighborhood, that it was good and safe and that they appreciated all the assistance they received. Most had not been in the United States long, several less than a year. They all resided with their expended families which were fairly large in number- more than five per household. All but one had to travel outside the city for work and described difficulties with acquiring transportation. One of my favorite question responses was for the question, “How long do you intend to remain living here?” The unanimous initial response was to laugh, and say something to the effect of “indefinitely.” Most accepted that they had been resettled in Kansas City and seemed pleased to be out of the camps.

I took many pictures of the neighborhood, most of which alluded to a strong Hispanic presence. There were many churches, stores, parking signs, etc. that were either written in English and Spanish or in Spanish only. From the pictures of the local high school and middle school, it appeared that both the Bhutanese and the Hispanic people had access to good education, as much as I could infer from the well-kept look of these buildings. There was not any visual evidence of Bhutanese refugees in the neighborhood, except for the possibility that a mural which seemed to depict the history of the community alluded to blacks, Hispanics, and possibly Bhutanese were living together at present day.

I conclusion I drew from my research was that the Bhutanese experience seemed to line up with the realist perspective toward refugees, that they do have truly unique experiences from those of immigrants. The group living in KCK was too new to make any conclusions about their pattern of spatial assimilation; many had been there less than a year and had been sent to the area by the United States government. All in all, this endeavor was a rewarding experience as it allowed for me to better connect with and understand a group of people with a rich culture and an epic history that lead to them taking residence in the metropolitan area in which I live. It is worth taking note, although not necessarily applicable to this research, that my interactions with the Bhutanese gave me a generous dose of perspective. By this I mean that many seemed very grateful to be living in an area that some Johnson County residents look down upon. One respondent was grateful that he made a friend at his job at Wal Mart because now he doesn’t have to walk several miles to and from his job, which was especially difficult in the winter snow. There were many things they were content with that my peers and I would probably complain about. I have a lot of respect for these people and hope to be able to work with them more in the future.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

the good picture book

the above picture was created by a polish illustrator named januzc grabianski...i love his illustrations. i found him when I went to a giant used bookstore with bill in detroit. the little Bible story book caught my eye simply because the illustrations were so beautiful. i tried to scan some more in, but they don't do them justice. but you get the idea. lately I've running across artists i like and finding out that they're polish?



Monday, April 26, 2010

10 days

deadlines drive me mad
deadlines relieve me
they hang over my head like a nasty dark cloud
they make me prioritize
if only everything was graded
then i would always have someone to please
and receive quantified feedback
because when everything is suspended in abstraction
i get lost
i hate deadlines
i need them

10 days


UPDATE:
Now the research is really in!

If I didn't have a substitute for children on the blog with plants, then this truly serves as my substitute. The brainchild is in and it was a long, excruciating labor. My classmate said, "I feel like I've had a 300 lb. man on my back for several months who is about to climb off." Well said, my good man.

So, baby or 300 lb. man...it's over now. All that's left is an exam, a presentation, a final, and oral interview, a term paper, and a research project to turn in...wooooooohooo!!! PTL for education. For women especially.

Should I be ashamed of taking pictures of myself and some documents in the plaza parking garage, near kinkos? I think the rich people thought that was suspicious.





That said, this is what I feel like doing right about now...











Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The research is in...

So today I presented my research for my thesis which I've been working on all semester. I was totally organized and ready for it, but unfortunately I was the last to present today. I think everyone was more interested in the clock on the wall than in patterns of Kansas public opinions and statute history concerning immigration, a socially constructed social problem. Yeesh. The one place I'm likely to find people who are willing to engage sociological issues.

I share the following in honor of one of my classmates who also presented. See if you can guess his topic...

Monday, April 19, 2010

riggin' the garden and a few Tom Bday pics

This is the aerial footage of my little seedlings. The set up is a bit "whiskey tango," as Bill and I say.



I spent all Sunday afternoon removing the insane amount of rocks from this area of my grandparents garden. The previous owner must have put them in along with a layer of dilapidated plastic beneath the rocks. The soil was clay that hadn't been worked in years, so that was fun. My grandma lent me some wire and wood for a make-shift anti-bunny invader fortress.


Perhaps this is what people post on blogs when they don't have children...




A little after the fact, but here are some candid pics of the lead up to the revealing of Tom's bday gift.








L'Chaim!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Las Plantas

Personal favorite responses form the previous post:

Gasoline
Sharpies/permanent marker
Freshly opened bag of Lays.

Oh, and disgusting award for Dillon...although the smell is very recognizable. Especially when he takes off his shoes after work.

So, my seedlings are off to a good start. I'm wanted to plant the squash, zucchini and peas this weekend but it just work out given Bill's move and taking care of my ex-boss's garden while they were out of town. Hopefully they survive a little longer in tiny urban studios before moving to a more spacious home.




My dad helped me set up a grow light in the basement, so that's where I've been starting the little teenies.

Monday, April 12, 2010

nose knows

soap
almond oil
my grandma
Tokyo Milk
fresh bread
coffee
Biolage
william's room
lilacs
whatever is frying
Herbal Essences (original)
first breath leaving the house

favorites of the ol' factory. What are yours?

also, is it just me, or does that last one sound like "Flander's Field?"

Friday, April 9, 2010

ever so

inspired by maeret, ee cummings, and spring.

Cocoon is spun
that wings may grow
he dormant lies
'til time to go
though it seems a fearsome trap
as thrashing, pushes to break out.
Don't help him, or you'll handicap
his strength for flying here and fro
delicately, ever so.

Winter comes to call for spring
and 8,000 seasons ago
Seed of Heaven died that life
could come from frozen ground below.
Scraped knees and shattered hearts
subtle, tiny hands to mend
and open windows in dingy parts.
Wait patiently for Whom you know
comes delicately, ever so.





[art by olga ziemska]

Monday, February 22, 2010

Thoughts on Creativity

First off, I'm kinda sick of this design...Dillon, will you renovate please?

Late night stream of consciousness…I’m here trying to seize this fleeting piece of inspiration because of something I’ve been thinking about lately. I recently listened to a best-selling author talk about the creative process. She spoke of the common plight of the creative person (writer, musician, etc.) and the neurosis they experience that is unique to such a profession. She spoke of how we should recognize creativity as something outside ourselves. She talked about ancient Greece where they believed that creativity came not from within a person but from an outside force, a “daemon," some sort of spirit that bestows creative ideas upon humans. The Romans had a similar concept, and the being to which they attributed inspiration was called a “genius.” At that time, one was not a genius, one had a genius. She explained that post-Enlightenment humanism led to this concept that the divine was within us, not some mystical spirit who told us its ideas. She then explained that this was why artists began to go crazy, because their identity was wrapped up in whether or not they have “writer’s block,” and was why so many lack the courage to even try something creatively oriented, because of fear of rejection or fear of not having inspiration. Her conclusion was that we should take on the perspective of the ancient Greeks and Romans and try to understand our inspiration as something outside ourselves. (Here's a link in case anyone wants to actually watch it themselves: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html)

On one hand, although I enjoyed reading her book, I thought she came off a little flaky. She wavered between trying not to sound crazy but then advocated inventing some sort of fairy or god or whatever onto which you could project the source of your creative inspiration. One the other hand, I agree with her that I sometimes experience some transcendent moments that result in a need to express. I felt the urge to write tonight not because I believe a “daemon” or a “genius” was channeling me but because I was given the ability to do so by the Creator. Creative energy does not come from any other external source except for His Spirit and that which has been bestowed on us.

In light of that, I do feel the feeling she describes- a transcendence, a moment of coalescence when the universe stops turning and you connect with something. Or moments when you feel something so intensely that you could not begin to describe it, but you must try. So instead of looking at this as an outside spirit which is not Him, I am going to assume that it’s either a) me- my emotions and deep inner yearnings that ultimately exist because He created me and gave me the ability to feel and yearn the way I do…or b) it’s a prompting by His Spirit in which case I want to move with Him into the dance. Either way, it comes from Hashem, whether directly or indirectly.


Master of the Universe, Creator of all, I thank you for giving us this chance. I know that any creative work done from myself, for myself or for the accolades of my fellow humans will be empty and finite, but I also believe that if You can baptize my creativity, then I could partner with you to create inside of Your creativity. I have not yet even the conceptualization of what to do, but sometimes I have such a passion and motivation to CREATE- to craft, to paint, to dance, to make music with my hands and lips, to birth something new, to breathe my own life into something in the same way You breathed life into me. In that way, You breathed life into everything and also have given me dignity in that I actually have something to offer that is unique to me. And may it all be for Your glory, for Your purposes, that I could fit into Your process of redeeming that which You created perfectly in the beginning and will continue to bring back to the place that You intended. Your kingdom, Your righteous, may it be found within me. And may You breathe Your life into me that what comes from my brain, my lips, my hands, and wherever my feet take me would bring You glory and reveal Your beauty and truth. I want to come into what You are doing and bring what I have. My hands are open, my heart is waiting. Breath life into me with wind like a hurricane.

Followers