Psalm 61:1-4

Hear my cry, O God ; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint ; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever ; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah.

The Other "F-Word"

"Feminist writers have been at the forefront of the critique of dichotomous thinking, because their broader concern to develop new understandings of what counts as knowledge. A general criticism of dichotomous thinking is that it 'forces ideas, persons, roles and disciplines into rigid polarities'  and thereby 'reduces richness and complexity in the interest of logical neatness.'"

"A number of new theorists have sought to develop new, non-dichotomous ways of thinking. Although varying in detail, such theories have in common an emphasis on thinking relationally. The relational mode of theorising 'argues for the intellectual and social benefits of recognizing that within each dualism...the relationship, the connection, the interdependence between the two parts is crucial to the character of both parts.' Moreover, it recognises complexity, plurality and heterogeneity, rather than simple mutually exhaustive dualisms."
 50 Key Concepts In Gender Studies- Jane Pilcher & Imelda Whelehan

I drafted this post (which was pretty much just the above quotes) probably two months ago at the onset of my Women's Studies course that I am currently taking.
Women's studies? Why a whole course for women? Why don't they have a men's studies course?
To this I reply that we had much of our past history classes devoted to men's studies. Unless, of course, we were studying the Suffrage Movement or other special era where the ladies were getting feisty.

Throughout my personal history, I have always been feminist-leaning, as much as an evangelical Midwestern girl can claim to be. I remember in elementary school writing stories by myself (during class, as was usually my problem) that often featured a leading female role comparable to Jo March who had an independent spirit and would fearlessly leave everything behind to go take on the world in some unknown place. My friend, Jourdan, and I would co-write plays which we acted out at recess where usually there was a woman or pair of women who were in some state of oppression, such a being forced to work in a Cinderella-esque type scenario or being forced into a constraining societal role like Rose from Titanic. These stories usually included the struggle to break out of these restraints as well them picking up a romantic interest along the way. I'm sure the Disney portrayal of the woman had a lot to do with our perception of the difficult female state, yet I doubt it had everything to do with it.

The question of the proper place of a woman has been a difficult one for me to navigate. It isn't hard to observe the reality of the commonly unfair hand dealt women. Women are not constitutionally guaranteed equal rights seeing how they had to fight for an amendment to be made to get the vote and the Equal Right Amendment never got passed. Statistically, they still make $.77 to every $1 a man makes in a comparable position with far fewer management positions for women. Growing up, and even now, I didn't have to look far to see that often the woman, whether or not she works a full time job, is expected to take care of the home and family, at the very least more so than the man. It's a social expectation for women to do this, whereas when a men does things that are more domestic such as cook, clean, take care of the kids, he's receives praise and accolades for being such a great father.

On the other hand, I concede that not all of what we see as gender roles can be a simple social construction. I keep asking the question: Where is the Creator's design in all of this mess? Clearly He has made women and men to be distinct from one another and has given each of them distinct purposes. It seems obvious that women have a stronger child-rearing role than men simply because of biology and the way babies are carried into the world.Women tend to be more nurturing than most men. Despite this, how much is this generalization used to manipulate women into submission or a passenger seat while male leadership drives society? I thought the criticisms of dichotomous thinking offered by feminist theory were interesting considering the journey many of us have been on, examining the duality in our philosophical frameworks on which we build our realities, rather than the oft-repeated "both/and" phenomenon.

Middle-class woes aside, the modern tragedies of pornography and sex-trafficking industries have dealt a major blow to the face of women's rights. Not to mention female genital mutilation which is forced upon millions of women worldwide. This is happening in the United States among women from these areas. See map below- this practice is interestingly correlated with the places where the Islamic kingdom has spread:

I have found it heartbreaking that many of the women I'm supposed to read for this course start their activism in being pro-abortion rights. This could lead to a long tangent, but it's blatantly obvious at a public university how humanistic assumptions lead to destructive conclusions- for the human spirit and life a whole. Women should have the right to sexual liberation and then the right to erase the life that comes because of it. People should have a right to do all the things that leads to their demise. We demand this. It has been this way from the beginning at the fall that led to eventual middle finger raised to the sky as humanity defied it's holy purposes.

The fall...the fall..."her desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her"...maybe all this isn't so suprising.

This is more of a tangential free-write on feminism inspired thoughts, not really coherent. Sort of like feminism itself. Three different waves, too many different "feminisms" to name here...we still don't know what we want....

Moments

Moments are my favorite things
Things that wrap around us like ribbons
Ribbons blowing in the breeze like sunrise beams
Beams of light in morning remind us of new mercies
Mercies enough for this moment

Breaking up is hard to do'oo...

My bro and I started this blog when I lived in FL to encourage each other to keep writing. He punked out on it a while back and recently ventured out with his own solo project.

Despite this, we still have an amicable relationship on the web. I am plugging a piece of his that he recently posted. Way to go broheim.

Don't I Hold You

The more I learn to hear the voice of the L-rd, the more I realize how much I've always heard it.

About two years ago I was not following the L-rd the way I knew I should. My spirit was starving and I often felt loneliness so cold it cut me to the bones and woke me up at night. Running running running and grasping after things I couldn't and shouldn't have. Longings deep deep inside of me were never satisfied but I would not open my heart to Him.I didn't think I knew how to get to Him.

I was fond of the Elizabethtown soundtrack (and the movie itself, for that matter). One day in my dorm room I was listening to it, and this song came on:

These are the lyrics:
don't i hold you like you want to be held
and don't i treat you like you want
and don't i love you like you want to be loved
and you're running away
and what's your name
like i'm in the way
don't i hold you like you want to be held
don't i please you like you want
and don't i love you like you want to be loved
and you're running away
and what's your name
like i'm in the way
and wasting too much time
don't i
don't i hold you like you want

sometimes i hold you right
nice and tight
to me most times
on account it's based on need
not selfish greed or pride

don't i
don't i hold you like you want


In that moment, I felt the song was what He was saying to me. I remember feeling like something broke in me and I was crying, but I couldn't believe it was really His voice. It felt too presumptuous or too fictitious to think it was true. I didn't believe it. I wished it was true, I wanted it to be...


I used to be so mad at Him because I felt He could see my struggle and this gnawing thing inside of me and left there utterly alone. I ran a lot then, literally. I hesitate to run these days because it reminds of back then, when I was running on the outside and inside, but not because I wanted to.


A little while ago, I confided in a friend the sadness and loneliness I was feeling at the moment. She said, "Let Him hold you like you need to be held." This immediately hit the rewind button in my mind and brought me back to the moment with the song two years ago. I know now that it was Him, and now I know what He says is true.


I don't blame Him anymore for not breaking through to me during those years. Doesn't He know the hearts of men? Isn't He able to rightly judge them? I explained away His love. I also explained away His instructions to me. In fact, at that time I said in my heart, "I have always done the right thing, I have always obeyed. This time I'm not going to." I wanted to see what would happen. I saw what happened. I'm still recovering and being healed from the effects of those choices. I believe Him when He says that He will repay us for the years the locust ate, the locust he sent among us. But how much better to bind our years to the L-rd? How much better to hold our years as precious possessions and not let any be wasted?


Now He holds me like I want to be held. And I don't ever want to go back again.

What would you do?

http://wimp.com/stealingbike/

One Day

I can't get away from this song these days.



Amen.

Banksy, anyone?

For further entertainment or provocation, see Exit Through the Gift Shop.

The last one is my favorite.

i miss...

sometimes i miss being a part of music-making like a part of me is in a hibernation coma. lately it has been stirring. i miss it more than other things i could be missing right now.

this is what i miss about my old school...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDS96dKzbRU(it's kind of a lame video, but that's the Southeastern Singers)
the guy on keys used to play shows at the cafe i worked at down there and i would wait for hours with my friends before the show so we could have close seats.

i miss worship team in youth group, fine arts festival music, playing flute in marching band and concert band, worship choir at southeastern university, wind ensemble and the soul in the music at southeastern, and more...



i hope (pray) it whistles back at me soon, although id be extra rusty....

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes

I recited this poem for my oral interpretation class back when I was studying English. It moved me, especially because of the dreams that he most likely had in mind as he wrote in the midst of the Harlem Renaissance. I have been thinking about this poem in light of dreams in general- my own dreams, but also the dreams of many of my dear friends and their vision for the city of Merriam. It’s hard for me to watch people I love who have invested much in something so unselfish and not see much of the tangible fruit of what they have been asking and working for. I know that we as humans can’t see the big picture and don’t know what His timing is for things- it’s often different than ours. I get that, but sometimes...I really don't.

I think about this poem I’ve held onto in light of a verse that I’ve held onto over the years:

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay

Habakkuk 2:3

We wait for our deferred dreams, the ones that are of the L-rd.

It’s funny how sometimes people point out verses in the Bible that I know I must have read before, but it leaps out at me as if it had been hiding. One of my favorite books is Ecclesiastes, and my brother showed me this verse last night:

For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; but God is the one you must fear.
Ecclesiastes 5:7

Something I’m chewing on….

stranger than...

I need a good fiction book. Any recommendations?

Norman Walker disciple...to be or not to be?

SO (my mom pointed out how often I begin statements with this conjunction) I have been reading some propaganda in favor of a raw foods diet. A couple of friends and I recently delved into conversation about nutrition, health and the problems with Western medicine. They recommended that I read Norman Walker's books...he's totally their dude and they've been following his diet and health methods for years. One of them used to have bad acne and after a few months of raw foods and fresh juices she saw improvements. She now has completely clear skin. The other used to suffer from fatigue and headaches a lot and now doesn't deal with these symptoms and says she doesn't get sick.

The thing is, I've started reading some of Norm's stuff and I must say it seems shockingly radical upon first hearing. He basically advocates only eating raw fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts, which isn't all that different from many other nutrition articles I've read as far as these things being beneficial. His books talk about how processed foods are deplete of any nutritional value (which is also nothing new) as well as how cooking above 120 degrees Fahrenheit kills off the necessary enzymes and organic properties of living foods. I knew before that the more vegetables were cooked the more nutrients they retained, which is another thing that seems sort of intuitive. But, from this angle, cooked foods are not only lacking nutrients but they are detrimental to one's health.

Another huge point of his, though, is drinking lots of fresh vegetable and fruit juices. He talks about the specific benefits of the juice of each plant as well as mixing them for the purpose of helping certain problems or promoting the health of specific areass of the body. Juicing is important, he says, because some of the nutrients in foods are expended in order to digest the food and takes a long time, whereas the nutrients in the juices can be absorbed within minutes. It is important to juice and drink them fresh, though, because they lose much of their value 30 minutes after juicing.

A major thrust of his teachings are promoting colon health. Walker (not to be confused with Texan law enforcement) argues that 80% of disease finds its origin in the colon. According to his argument, when waste isn't moving through the colon normally, it ferments and putrifies, releasing toxins into the body which cause all kinds of ailments. He talks about how many people's normal diet is largely inorganic and leads to the build-up of slime on the walls of the colon which not only stays there but can block absorption of nutrients. The fibers of raw foods act as an intestinal broom, cleaning this out. He also advocates regular colon irrigations, which is essentially washing out the colon with water to remove waste that has accumulated.

Sounds bizarre, huh? I mean, even besides the colon irrgations, it seems hard to think that the way most people have been preparing food for hundreds of years is actually detrimental to human health. Then again, it make sense that although the human body is very adaptable, we reap what we sow in our old age as all the abuse the body has taken over the years starts to show. We naturally link old age and poor health, but I have heard from a couple places that this is not necessarily true and that a lot of cancers, senility, vericose veins, arthritis and other problems associated with old age are because of poor health choices throughout life. A natural death would then be seen as a short, peaceful death without degeneration over tens of years.

My jury is still out but I am very thoughtfully considering making some diet changes. Norm Walker made it to 99, which is pretty good, seeing as the average for males now is 74.7. I'm interested to hear your reactions.

Progress

If you have a moment, please answer the following question:

What is progress?


(this question was provoked by this art exhibit I heard about in February.)

Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism

Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism
It is perfectly legitimate to criticize Israel’s policies. Israelis do it all the time in blistering debates. But criticism crosses the line into classic anti-Semitism when it exhibits what Natan Sharansky called the “Three Ds.”

Delegitimization: The Jewish State has no right to exist. Israelis do not belong in the Middle East.

Double Standards: Israel is condemned harshly for self-defense measures and social problems that are seen as acceptable or inevitable in other nations.

Demonization: Through distortions and lies, Israel is depicted as the world’s most evil and dangerous country, and the claim is made that if the Jewish State ceased to exist, the Middle East’s—and the world’s—main problems would be solved.

The Link: Anti-Semitism is hatred for Jews, their communities and their way of life. It includes demonizing and dehumanizing Jews as a group. Anti-Zionism is hatred for Israel, the modern center of Jewish life and continuity. This is why many people claim that Anti-Zionism, or hatred for Israel, is a modern variation of classical anti-Semitism. “Anti-Semitic bigotry is no less morally deplorable when camouflaged as anti-Israelism or anti-Zionism,” according to the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights.1 People of goodwill must try to see through anti-Israel propaganda in order to foster reasonable dialogue.

1-“Findings and Recommendations of the United States Commission on Civil Rights Regarding Campus Anti-Semitism,” U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, April 3, 2006.

Gravity

The red balloon floats placidly away
Palms empty, open boldly to the sky
The mournful breeze blows soft across this face
Silent eyes pressed closed, not asking why